Strategies for Reducing Wordiness

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 Strategies for Reducing Wordiness

›English 191 section 25

›Wenjun Wu, Qing Ren

›WHAT IS WORDINESS?

Wordiness means “using more [words] than necessary to express thought”

http://imej.wfu.edu/articles/1999/1/02/demo/tutorial/wordines.html

›What causes wordiness?

›Most people write wordy sentences and paragraphs when they are writing early drafts.

›Some people think that their writing must be complicated to seem professional, so they use long words and complicated sentences.

›Passive sentences and other constructions that hide the subject are often wordy.

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http://imej.wfu.edu/articles/1999/1/02/demo/tutorial/wordines.html

›Patterns of Wordiness

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›Omit

›Change

›Replace

›Others

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›Patterns of Wordiness
-Omit

›Avoid overusing “it is,” “there is,” and “there are” (weak expletives) at the beginning of sentences

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   Example:

               Wordy:

                     It is important that we agree.    

               Concise:

                      We must agree.

http://ww2.sjc.edu/archandouts/eliminatingwordiness.pdf

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›Omit "this" from the beginning of a sentence by joining it to the preceding sentence with a comma.

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     Example: Wordy Chlorofluorocarbons have been banned from aerosols. This has lessened the ozone layer's depletion.

                       Concise Chlorofluorocarbons have been banned from aerosols, lessening the ozone layer's depletion.

http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/style/wordiness.html

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›Omit "which" or "that" altogether when possible.

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     Example: Wordy Because the fluid, which was brown and poisonous, was dumped into the river, the company that was negligent had to shut down.

                      Concise Because the brown, poisonous fluid was dumped into the river, the negligent company had to shut down.

http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/style/wordiness.html

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›Patterns of Wordiness
-Change

›Change "which" or "that" constructions to an "-ing" word.

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     Example: Wordy The committee, which meets monthly, oversees accounting procedures and audits.

                       Concise The committee, meeting monthly, oversees accounting procedures and audits.

http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/style/wordiness.html

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›Change "is" or "was" when they occur alone to a strong verb.

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      Example: Wordy A new fire curtain is necessary for the stage.

                        Concise The stage needs a new fire curtain.

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http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/style/wordiness.html

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›Patterns of Wordiness
-Replace

›Replace passive verbs with active verbs. In passive constructions, the subject of the sentence is being acted upon; in active constructions, the subject is the actor.

     Example: Wordy Rain forests are being destroyed by uncontrolled logging.

                     Concise Uncontrolled logging is destroying rain forests.

http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/style/wordiness.html

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›Replace "is," "are," "was," "were," or "have + an -ing word" to a simple present or past tense verb.

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     Example: Wordy The South African government was undergoing significant changes.

                        Concise The South African government underwent significant changes.

http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/style/wordiness.html

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›Replace "should," "would," or "could" with strong verbs.

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     Example: Wordy The environmental council could see several solutions.

                       Concise The environmental council saw several solutions.

http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/style/wordiness.html

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›Patterns of Wordiness
-Others

›Substitute strong verbs for "-tion" and "-sion" words whenever possible.

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     Example: Wordy I submitted an application for the job.

                      Concise I applied for the job.

http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/style/wordiness.html

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›Combine two closely related short sentences by omitting part of one.

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     Example: Wordy The director is concerned about problems. Typical problems may occur with lighting, sound, and props.

                       Concise The director is concerned about typical problems with lighting, sound, and props.

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http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/style/wordiness.html

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›How can you learn to recognize and eliminate wordiness from your writing?

Editing!!!

›Strategies for Editing:

›Read the Paper Out Loud with a pencil in hand

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›Verbalize

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›Use "Find" on the Computer

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http://www.wm.edu/as/history/undergraduateprogram/historywritingresourcecenter/handouts/reducingwordiness/index.php

›Sources:

http://imej.wfu.edu/articles/1999/1/02/demo/tutorial/wordines.html

http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/style/wordiness.html

http://www.wm.edu/as/history/undergraduateprogram/historywritingresourcecenter/handouts/reducingwordiness/index.php

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Thank you for your time!

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Write Place

I went to the write place last week. There are a lot of useful sources for writing a paper and a lot of helpful people. They can help us with gramma problems and spelling problems. They can also help us brain storm when we do not have any idea about what to write about. There are handouts about how to site your paper and other useful informations. It is helpful place not only for International students, but also for the students that English as their first language.

LEO topic selection

I am choosing "Strategies for Reducing Wordiness" as my topic because wordy might cause our writing less effective and impressive and it is the mistake I always have. 

Parameter

I am in group four. We determined our parameters as following:

Criterion 1 interest  (5 points)
Criterion 2 grammar and spelling (3 points)
Criterion 3 the hook of the introduction (3 points)
Criterion 4 all 12 objects included in the story (2 points)
Criterion 5 organization (2 points)


Final parameters for our class are:Criterion 1: Creative use of the 12 items (5 Points)
Criterion 2: Interest (4 Points)
Criterion 3: Organization/Structure (3 Points)
Criterion 4: Flow (2 Points)
Criterion 5: Grammar/Spelling (1 Point)